doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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