i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
