i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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