I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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