Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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