You really coming over, don't trick.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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