Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
