i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
