i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
