I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Couch. On fire.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
