I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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