It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
