Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
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My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
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Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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