Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
