I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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