You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
