My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Houston, we have a squirter
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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