She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
