dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
