Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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