I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
