I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
