i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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