Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize