Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
