Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
