While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
