He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
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Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
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he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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