I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Randomize
