Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
