yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
