remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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