I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
