It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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