Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize