I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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