Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm both gender and math confused
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
