There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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