The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
