i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
