HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
