Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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