I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
