yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm jealous of your bromance
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
