He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
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I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I AM VODKA MAN
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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