wanna go halves on a baby?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
