Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
