I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.