I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
