Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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