is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
