Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
