What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
