Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
