Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
