so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
