Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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