i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
