he puts the penis in happiness.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
