she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
