i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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