so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
