sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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