Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
