i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
