im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Bring me that man meat
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
