Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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