Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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